Your Child’s First 90 Days After An Autism Or ADHD Diagnosis
What Should Parents Do First After An Autism Or ADHD Diagnosis?
Start by giving yourself and your child time to understand what the diagnosis means.
A useful first step is to:
- read through the diagnostic report carefully
- note any questions you still have
- identify the recommendations that feel most relevant now
- arrange a feedback or post-diagnosis conversation if anything is unclear
- consider what your child needs at home and at school
- avoid trying to change everything at once
For ADHD, NICE recommends a structured discussion after diagnosis about how ADHD may affect everyday life, individual strengths, education, relationships and appropriate support. It also recommends involving children and families in decisions about their care.
The same principle is useful more broadly: understanding should come before action.
Days 1–14: Understand The Diagnosis Before Making Big Changes
The first couple of weeks can involve a mixture of relief, uncertainty and further questions.
Return to your child’s report rather than relying solely on general information online. The report should help explain your child’s particular profile, including strengths as well as areas where support may be useful.
Consider asking:
- What were the main findings?
- Which difficulties are associated with Autism, ADHD or both?
- Are there sensory, emotional or learning needs to consider?
- What recommendations are most important now?
- Is further assessment or professional input suggested?
If your child has both Autism and ADHD, remember that the two can interact in ways that are not always obvious. For example, a child may want predictability but struggle with organisation, or need downtime after managing attention and social demands throughout the school day.
If you still feel unsure about what the findings mean in everyday life, ASD Child Ltd’s psychoeducation support is designed to help families understand a diagnosis and develop practical strategies for home and school.
Weeks 2–4: Decide How To Talk To Your Child About Their Diagnosis
There is no single script for telling a child they are autistic or have ADHD.
The conversation should reflect their age, communication style and level of understanding. Where possible, focus on helping your child make sense of themselves rather than presenting the diagnosis as a list of difficulties.
You might discuss:
- things they find easy or enjoyable
- situations that require more effort
- sensory preferences
- how their attention works
- why certain environments feel difficult
- strategies that help them feel comfortable or organised
A diagnosis can become a useful framework for understanding differences rather than something that defines the whole child.
Keep the conversation open. Your child may have very few questions initially and more later.
Weeks 2–6: Speak To Your Child’s School Or SENCO
If your child attends school, sharing relevant information from their assessment can help staff understand their needs.
The National Autistic Society advises that parents may find it useful to share the diagnosis and the child’s individual strengths and needs with relevant school staff. Existing support plans may also need reviewing in light of recommendations contained in the diagnostic report.
Before meeting the school, consider highlighting sections of the report relating to:
- communication
- attention and concentration
- sensory needs
- emotional regulation
- transitions and changes
- social interaction
- learning
- suggested classroom adjustments
Ask what support is already available and what could reasonably be changed.
A diagnosis does not automatically mean that a child will receive an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP). Educational support is generally determined by the child’s needs. In England, children requiring additional help may receive SEND support, while some children with more significant needs may require an EHC plan.
Weeks 4–8: Focus On The Changes That Could Help Most
Once you understand the recommendations, choose a small number of priorities.
Trying to introduce numerous new strategies simultaneously can make it difficult to tell what is actually helping.
Depending on your child, useful changes might include:
- clearer daily routines
- visual reminders
- breaking tasks into smaller stages
- advance warning about changes
- quieter spaces for recovery
- movement or sensory breaks
- shorter, clearer instructions
- additional organisation support
- more predictable transitions
For children with ADHD, NICE guidance specifically highlights environmental modifications, educational needs and structured support for parents and carers.
Weeks 4–10: Explore Post-Diagnosis Support
Families vary considerably in how much formal support they need.
The National Autistic Society notes that an Autism diagnosis does not automatically create entitlement to every form of professional support. Access is generally based on assessed needs, which may involve education, social care or financial support.
Depending on your child’s circumstances, the next step may involve:
- speaking with your GP
- working with your child’s SENCO
- exploring your local authority’s SEND Local Offer
- seeking occupational, psychological or other specialist input where recommended
- exploring psychoeducation
- asking about social care support if appropriate
- checking eligibility for benefits such as Disability Living Allowance
You do not need to pursue every possible option. Start with the areas having the greatest effect on your child’s daily life.
Weeks 8–12: Review What Is Actually Helping
By the end of the first few months, you may have a much clearer sense of your child’s priorities.
Ask yourself:
- Which changes have made daily life easier?
- Is school support working?
- Are particular situations still causing significant difficulty?
- Does your child understand their diagnosis better?
- Are there questions from the original assessment that remain unresolved?
- Do parents or carers need additional guidance?
It can help to keep brief notes about patterns, particularly around sleep, school attendance, sensory overwhelm, emotional regulation, attention and transitions.
This makes future conversations with school or professionals more specific and useful.
Your 90-Day Post-Diagnosis Checklist
Use this as a guide rather than a deadline:
- Read and understand the diagnostic report
- Write down unanswered questions
- Talk to your child in an age-appropriate way
- Share relevant information with school
- Meet the SENCO or appropriate school staff where needed
- Identify two or three practical priorities
- Explore recommended support
- Learn more about Autism, ADHD or a combined diagnosis
- Review what is working after several weeks
- Seek additional professional guidance where necessary
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I Need To Tell My Child’s School About The Diagnosis?
There is no universal rule requiring every family to disclose everything immediately, but sharing relevant diagnostic information can help school staff understand your child’s needs and consider suitable support.
Does An Autism Or ADHD Diagnosis Automatically Mean My Child Needs An EHCP?
No. An EHCP is based on educational needs and the support required, not simply on having a diagnosis.
What If My Child Has Both Autism And ADHD?
Support should consider how the conditions interact rather than treating them separately. Your child may have needs relating to attention, sensory processing, routines, social communication and emotional regulation.
Should Everything Change Immediately After Diagnosis?
Usually, no. Prioritise the areas creating the greatest difficulty and introduce manageable changes gradually.
Where Can Parents Get Help After An Autism Or ADHD Diagnosis?
Support may come from school, healthcare professionals, local SEND services, charities, social care where appropriate and post-diagnostic services such as psychoeducation.
Moving Forward After Diagnosis
The first 90 days do not need to be about completing forms or arranging every possible intervention. They are an opportunity to understand your child more clearly, identify what genuinely helps and build support around their individual needs.
If you still have questions about what your child’s Autism or ADHD diagnosis means in everyday life, ASD Child Ltd provides post-diagnosis psychoeducation for families, including practical guidance around behaviour, emotional regulation and school support.